Healthy Relationships: The Key to a Happy Life!

Welcome to Real Life. Got friends?

“Friendship is born of that moment when one person says to another,

‘What? You, too? I thought I was the only one.’”

–C.S. Lewis

We are meant to live in community. God created us to need one another. You and I are not meant to travel this journey of life alone. Relationships are integral to a healthy existence.

In his earthly ministry, Jesus surrounded himself with twelve disciples. They walked, lived, and served together for three full years. Of the twelve, Peter, James, and John became his closest friends. Jesus both needed and modeled healthy relationships.

I no longer call you servants,

because a servant does not know his master’s business.

Instead, I have called you friends,

for everything that I learned from my Father

I have made known to you.

(John 15:15 NIV emphasis mine)

In recent decades, our culture has shifted in some pretty dramatic ways. It has become more difficult to build and maintain healthy relationships. “Our ability to connect emotionally has decreased dramatically over the last twenty-five years,” writes Peter Scazzero.[1] Everyone is busy. But more significantly, in lieu of face-to-face interactions, Americans spend an average of seven hours a day in front of a screen.[2]

The problem is a screen cannot meet the deep need we have to be known and loved. Only a person can do that. Today, more than ever, we need to be intentional about seeking, building, and maintaining healthy face-to-face relationships.

Relationships develop over shared hearts, interests, and passions. Sharing requires vulnerability. It takes courage to be put ourselves out there and be honest. But when we are willing to open up and share on a deeper level, we invite others to respond in kind. Friendships are born.

And yes, people are messy. We’re inconsistent. Healthy relationships require tons of grace. Alongside grace, we need to proceed with wisdom. Test the waters. Not everyone is safe. Instead of responding to our courageous vulnerability with love and acceptance, some will mock or judge us. Others will gossip. It’s okay to vulnerably share our secrets; it’s not okay to share other’s secrets. Not everyone is worthy of our trust.[3]

Of course, no friend can meet the deepest needs of our souls. Only Jesus can. If we place the entire weight of our emotional needs on someone, we will be disappointed. They will fail and disappoint us. Jesus, however, promised he will never leave or forsake us.[4] He is the faithful lover of our souls. But our relationship with Christ does not negate the relational need God placed within us for other people. Rather, as our relationship with Jesus grows deeper and healthier, we become better equipped to grow deeper and healthier relationships with others.

So, what do you say? Let’s take a chance. Be vulnerable. Share our hearts. Because a few bumps and scars along the way are totally worth the reward of finding friends and developing healthy relationships. In taking those chances, we may just find that person who responds by saying, “What? You, too? I thought I was the only one.”

“Strong, meaningful relationships are the key to a happy and fulfilling life.”[5]

Dear Lord Jesus,
You are the friend who sticks closer than a brother.[6]
We love you and want to walk closely with you.
As we do, give us courage to open our souls to others.
Guide us in finding good friends.
But also teach us how to be a good friend.
So that in addition to sharing honestly and vulnerably,
We will actively listen and care about others as you do.
In your name we pray. Amen.


Image by Canva
[1] Emotionally Healthy Relationships Day by Day by Peter Scazzero, p. 28
[2] https://backlinko.com/screen-time-statistics
[3] Matthew 7:6
[4] Deuteronomy 31:8, Hebrews 13:5
[5] Harvard Longitudinal Study on Adult Development
[6] Proverbs 18:24